For a long time, I believed survival meant compromise.
Lower your voice.
Don’t ask for too much.
Be grateful for whatever acceptance comes your way.
Like many LGBTQ+ people, I learned early that love often felt conditional. And somewhere along the way, I made everyone else’s comfort a priority over my own truth. But growth taught me something powerful: setting your priorities right can save your life.
1. Choosing Yourself Is Not Selfish
I remember staying in spaces where I felt invisible—family gatherings where jokes hurt, friendships where I was the “token,” relationships where my identity was tolerated but never celebrated. I stayed because I didn’t want to be “difficult.”
But one day, I realized something:
“You are not hard to love. You are just asking the wrong people.”
Prioritizing myself meant walking away from people who loved a version of me that wasn’t real. It was painful—but it was also freeing.
2. Mental Health Is a Priority, Not a Luxury
Many LGBTQ+ people carry silent battles—anxiety, depression, loneliness—while still showing up strong for everyone else. I used to tell myself, Others have it worse, I should be fine.
But healing started when I allowed myself help. Therapy. Support groups. Honest conversations. Rest.
As activist Audre Lorde once said:
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.”
Protecting your mental health doesn’t make you weak. It means you plan to live.
3. Real Love Feels Safe
I once believed love had to hurt to be real. I accepted secrecy, mixed signals, and emotional neglect because I thought that was the price of being LGBTQ+ in a straight world.
But safe love exists. Love that doesn’t rush you. Love that doesn’t hide you. Love that doesn’t make you question your worth.
“If you have to beg for respect, it’s not love.”
Your priority should always be emotional safety—over excitement, attention, or validation.
4. Your Journey Has No Deadline
Some people come out at 15. Some at 50. Some never label themselves at all. I wasted years comparing my journey to others, thinking I was “late” or “behind.”
But the truth is:
There is no expiration date on becoming yourself.
Your pace is valid. Your fear is understandable. Your courage—no matter how small it feels—is real.
5. Community Should Heal, Not Hurt
The LGBTQ+ community saved me in many ways—but it also taught me boundaries. Not every queer space will feel like home, and that’s okay. Sometimes we outgrow people who once helped us survive.
“Belonging should not cost you your peace.”
Choose spaces that let you breathe, not perform.
6. Dream Beyond Survival
For a long time, my only goal was survival—getting through the day, the month, the rejection. But one day I asked myself: What if I lived instead of just survived?
I started prioritizing my dreams, my career, my creativity. I stopped shrinking my ambitions to match other people’s expectations.
“You deserve a life that excites you, not just one that you can endure.”
Final Words
Setting your priorities right as an LGBTQ+ person means choosing authenticity over approval and peace over people-pleasing. It means understanding that your existence is not a burden—and your truth is not negotiable.
You are not asking for too much.
You are asking for what you deserve.
And the moment you choose yourself—fully, bravely, unapologetically—is the moment your life truly begins. 🌈✨